Beach Dreaming

I really, really shouldn't be blogging.  I've got my recertification exam in anesthesiology coming up on July 30th.  I decided to take it at the last minute (about a week ago) after finding out that the price of the exam is increasing by $800 next year, and even if I take it and fail it and have to pay a re-examination fee, it will still be cheaper that waiting until next year to take it.  So really, it's just a practice test at this point but IF I pass, I pass, and that is IT for TEN YEARS!  So I really, really want to pass.  And to do that, I MUST stay off the computer. 

But I just can't help thinking about August at the beach.  The annual month-long sojourn that has become so essential to my mental and physical well-being.

We went for a quickie over Memorial Day weekend and the tease was almost unbearable.  We drove down Friday in time for dinner.  Brought a cooler with beer and juice and stopped in Surf City and picked up pizza.  Drove straight to the beach and had a picnic as the sun set. 

The children walked around the beach, calf-deep in the water, not in their usual play and banter, but individually and quietly.  Staring out at the horizon, and then down at the water swirling around their legs.  Almost as if they were checking-in, reconnecting, if you will, with they ocean that has been a major part of all of their lives since before they were born.  (I spent a lot of time in the waves when I was pregnant with them.)

Andrew and I sat together against a dune and ate and drank and watched the children silently communicating with some force that has no name.  And I don't know if it was the long drive, or the (what is for me) intoxicating sound of the surf, or the beer or whatever.  But I shifted in spirit, too.

I remember when I was young.  Occasionally my parents would have me out late and I would fall asleep in the back seat of the car on the way home.  When we got home my dad would carry me to bed.  Now I always woke up to a certain extent when he carried me in.  But never let on that I was awake because I relished that half-asleep, half-awake feeling of being carried to bed by my strong father.  It was a feeling I absolutely loved.

Sitting on that dune with Andrew, feeling slightly buzzed, with the sun setting and no one else in sight but my children, silent and deep in thought, reminded me of being carried to bed by my father.  Warm, loved and secure.  And my soul, at that moment, existed just outside of it's normal, solid reality.  Mmmm...

Anyhoooo....I am really looking forward to August.  My sister-in-law and her husband and sweet girls will join us for part of the month.  Our four girls are really, really close cousins.  In age and in friendship.  And they love to dress alike.  All four girls love to be, what they say, "twins together."

I just bought all four girls sun dresses to change into after a long day on the beach and a big group outside shower.  In which they will scream and squeal that Jack is peeking at them.  He wouldn't dare and truly has no interest in little girl's bodies.  (Six years of two little sisters running around nude and he is DONE with that!)  And they will certainly toss out buckets of cold water as he walks past.  Poor guy. 

At any rate, Alice and Sydney like blue and Clara and Cameron are pinki-philes.  So I ordered two of each.  And I think they will look adorable in their dresses.  And they will just be thrilled to go out and eat a Mexican dinner in them.