There are few absolutes in medicine. But there are some. Like if you get on the bad side of the nurses, they WILL make your life miserable. And if someone in the medical profession, or an immediate family member, is admitted to the hospital, something major will go wrong.
And another unconditional absolute is this: Folks that have more than three drug allergies or that own more than three cats, certainly have been, or should be, assigned a diagnosis from the most recent edition of the DSM (catalog of mental illnesses).
Additionally, if they need surgery in Roanoke, Virginia, I WILL most certainly be their anesthesiologist.
Just today I had one who wouldn't allow the nurse to start an IV on him. Nor would he get into bed or even don a hospital gown. So I had to sneak up behind him and shoot him in the ass, through clothes and all, with a big syringe full of ketamine. Not one of my more graceful moments as an anesthesiologist.
He growled and hissed and I almost lost an eye. But I got the job done. Now, I didn't get paid, because he was uninsured. But there is one more crazy man from southwest Virginia with teeth that shine when he bares them.
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